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"No Hard Feelings"
Season 5, Episode 8
#87 in series (193 episodes)
5x8 - Dan and Toni Corbin meet
Hotshot attorney Toni Corbin, a senior member of the law firm which Dan is to interview for a job with, soon learns that the reason she's considering him is not because of his expertise in law, but of his sexual prowess, as to only to be a "office gigolo" of sorts in "No Hard Feelings" in Season 5 (ep.#8)."
Series: Night Court
Network/Country: NBC-TV / United States
Air date November 29, 1987
Production code 186204
Written by: Tom Straw
Directed by: Jeff Melman
Guest stars: Janice Lynde
Elayne Boosler
Alan Haufrect
Kenneth Kimmins
Laura Bassett
Arlan Feiles
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No Hard Feelings was the eighth episode of Season 5 of Night Court, also the 87th overall series episode. Written by Tom Straw, the episode was directed by Jeff Melman. The episode, which aired on NBC-TV, first aired on November 29, 1987. 


"No Hard Feelings"
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Synopsis

Harry hires a blind assistant (Elayne Boosler) whose abrasive sense of humor puts everyone on edge and Dan struggles with impotence when he meets a seductive prospective employer.

Storyline

Dan is crushed when he is afflicted by impotence, this because of worry concerning an upcoming interview with a senior member of the law firm which he sent a resume for. When the member of the firm, a one Toni Corbin (Janice Lynde), drops by the courtroom to meet Dan and confirm their interview, she, not only impressed with Dan's physical apperarnace, but also aware of the rumors of his sexual prowess, in no uncertain intimates her real reason for considering him for a position.

When Dan asks her if she needs to see a list of his references, Toni says that it wouldn't be needed; when he asks if he's still being considered for the open position, she responds that he's being considered for "seveal positions!" as she asks him to drop by her office in 20 minutes, ready to show her som "real class action"!

When Dan stops by Toni's office for the interview, he immediately realizes the real reason why Toni's considering hiring him, and it's not because of his expertise in law, but something more "carnal" as she then dims the lights and begins to disrobe, revealing a sexy black nightie, as she confesses that she's heard the circulating rumor about he and and several stewardesses in an airport baggage carousel!

When Toni confesses to Dan, who tries to get her to focus on his job qualifications, namely, his resume, that there were many others that were much more qualified for a job with her firm than he, when he asks "who's more qualified than I am?" she responds "Everybody!", Dan, in spite of his past histort of misogny and his fondness for one night stands, shows that he's not one to be used as an "office gigolo", says to Toni "You think you can call me in here, play your little bedroom games, take shots at my manhood? That's fine!" as he proudly boasts of his conviction record and having the lowest no\umber of overturned cases, as he boasts that "no one can touch me in a court of law, or anyplace else!", as Dan susequently takes off his tie, and then they have sex, after then turns down Toni's job offer, as he easily gets over his impotence problem, as he says to her in getting dressed, "Chow, Baby!"

When Toni, impressed by Dan's bedroom skills (she said that their encouter was "Volcanic!"), wonders why Dsn was willing to, as she says to him to "turn down a six figure salary and a boss who's willing to work with you Pro Bono?!", he tells her that he didn't spend six years in the DA's office only to be, as he says, "someone's high-priced office gigolo!"

Finally, in leaving Toni's office, he then says "When you think of this night... and you will... Suffer!"

Meanwhile, Harry hires Joy Buscaglia, a blind woman, as his personal assistant, whose abrasive manner drives nearly everyone to thoughts of homicide.

Scene excerpts

Quotes:

[At his job interview, Dan finds that the hiring partner, Toni Corbin, only wants him for an office gigolo]

  • Dan: (to Toni) You think you can call me in here, play your little bedroom games, take shots at my manhood? That's fine! I get that all the time! All right, maybe I wasn't able to afford some snooty Ivy League education. But let me tell you something. When you get your degree from the Bayou Academy of Law & Agriculture, you learn something else: a fighting sow-belly has to WORK for what he wants! Can't be afraid to get your snout dirty! You know, I live the law every day. In the courts and the jails of New York City. And I may have barf in my cuffs when I come home at night. But that's the way I like it.

[building]

  • Dan: That's why I have the highest conviction rate of any DA in this city. And that's why I have the lowest percentage of overturned cases! And that's why you can say anything you want to about my manhood, but nobody, lady - NOBODY - can touch Dan Fielding in a court of law.

[throws off his jacket]

  • Dan: Or for that matter, anywhere else!
  • Toni Corbin: You mean...?
  • Dan: [yanks off his tie] I mean, hold on to your Dixie Cups, babes! THE SOUTH SHALL RISE AGAIN!

[Dan talks to Harry concerning his impotence problem]

  • Dan: Let's face it, Harry. I'm all washed up.
  • Judge Stone: Come on, Dan, so you...
  • Dan: Say it.
  • Judge Stone: You...
  • Dan: Come on, man, say it!
  • Judge Stone: You had a little trouble launching the ol' Love Boat.
  • Dan: We are talking stuck in drydock, Harry!

[Gleeming and gloating after sleeping wiyh his prospective hiring partner Toni Corbin, who only wanted to hirehim for his sexual prowess, after which she's quite impresseg with]

  • Dan: Dan Fielding: [to Toni] When you think of this night... and you will... Suffer!

Cast (in credits order)

Starring

Guest stars/Recurring characters/cast